Bluetooth-isms

In a conversation with my good friend David, I pulled a bluetooth-ism. You know when you hear people say, "look at my new bluetooth"? Well, that is one of my biggest pet peeves. Bluetooth is a data transfer protocol, thus the previous quoted phrase is equivalent to "let me your english, I need it for my required reading" (in reference to a book). Sadly, tonight I pulled one of these, and am so ashamed of it, I must confess to you in order to procure divine forgiveness.

I said "do you have a facebook".....fail.

Yo.

I have no idea what God did, but somehow I passed all my classes that I was worried about passing! There must have been some MAD curving, but all is well.

Anyways, it is Christmas time and I thought I would update my blog for once. I have been trying to run every other day at the least, but its been getting harder and harder to motivate myself to get on a treadmill. Been sick today and yesterday. I am extremely bored. Still have to get christmas shopping done.

Well, if you could follow that last paragraph, you are more conscious than I.

Amazing flash game

Been passing the time with a flash game: Clockwords (on ninjakiwi.com). Think a really fast tower defense scrabble...Awesome!

Essential Christmas Movies [u]

I am trying to compile a list of Christmas movies that need to be watched every Christmas. Here is what I have so far:

It's a Wonderful Life

Die Hard

Die Hard 2: Die Harder

Muppets Christmas Carol

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer

Charlie Brown Christmas

*Sigh*...family history

Over Thanksgiving break I decided to try and compile a genealogy of my mother's side of the family. Luckily, people in my family have already done a lot of work in this area, and I just had to root through a bunch of old papers and texts to find what I needed. I am far from finished, but I found that my mom's side comes from nobility in England. Turns out that the reason we even came to the United States is really odd. Here is the story I copied from our family history-thingy (This happened before the revolutionary war, as James, my ancestor, was able to enlist and serve a full term of service.):

"When James was about twelve years of age he was playing with his cousin Francis King and some other boys on the King's royal grounds at the rear of the palace. the boys were having great sport with sling shots, trying to hit some geese in an artificial lake. While showing his skill James Jr. accidently killed one of the royal geese belonging to the King. James, knowing, that the English king had people heheaded for more trivial things than killing a goose, was badly frightened and his first thought was to run away from the king's wrath and parental punishment. So with his cousin, Francis King, who considered himself an accessory to the crime, the two little boys hastened to the London warfs where they found a large vessel about to sail. Stealthily going aboard the ship the boys concealed themselves in the hold and were not discovered until well out at sea. When the ship reached Boston, the captain of the vessel had the boys bound out to a ship builder for a term of years that they might earn money to pay for their passage to America."

It figures that this would be my noble, goose-slaying lineage.

Single cycle cpu

Working on my single cycle cpu for computer architecture. Surprisingly, it is coming along without too many headaches. I still need to write an assembler to test it but I would say I am a third done with my processor.

One of the best IM conversations ever:

Daniel: I'm texting in Haiku

Daniel: !

Daniel:

Anthony: so you are my friend

Anthony: if only you would text me

Anthony: i would gladly talk

Daniel: k I'll wait for you

this cell phone is quite the beast

hippopotamus

Daniel:

Anthony: dead I have nay been

but eating cherries always

!

Anthony: (exclamation mark)

Daniel: I would text you sir

Do you have a Texting Plan?

I just need to know

Daniel: LOL

Daniels: Nice

Anthony: that I do my sir

250 texts free

it renews monthly

Daniel: Pigs are mostly pink

Rice is dandy when eaten

Bacon is tasty

Anthony: my pants are on fire

water should put them out soon

but i like hot pants

Anthony: i am going up

my room i will occupy

back i will soon be

Daniel: dastardly she taught

her teaching is way too foul

get me out of here

Daniel: I call it Wah

Daniel: WAH

Daniel: And I have a revision

Daniels: dastardly she taught

the teaching is way too foul

get me out of here

Anthony: her name I wonder

what class art thou in my friend

does it spell your doom?

Anthony: help I wish to lend

not so much to be a fiend

but aid will i give

Anthony: cries of pain I hear

but teaching cannot be cause

pain is nay all bad

Daniel: rachel smith it is

the western art history

much better than AAH

Daniel: Orvieto helps

the second class avoided

crisis averted

Anthony: class has not ended?

how long are you confined there?

prayers are in order

Anthony: ha, Orvieto

legendary place it is

your tales excite me

Anthony: the cries of many

the whimpering of a few

you speak for both groups

Daniel: from one until three

my bindings grow tighter still

glad to have such friends

Daniel: Tuesday and thursday

the time constantly repeats

semester ends soon

Anthony: so true are those words

better friends I cannot have

less they have bacon

Anthony: too soon does it end

my GPA is not strong

graduation? ha!

Daniel: Truly i am bacon

so in many ways i win

rajaonarivony

Anthony: my last name you spell

the syllables are correct

proud I am of you

Daniels:

Anthony: the pig-meat speaks truth

how I wish for cook-ed pork

filling arteries

Daniel: I am logging these

a moment forever more

saved on my compy

Anthony: I am logging, too

the internet will soon see

real conversations

Anthony: how long can we go

wonder I in my free time

until we are stopped

Daniel: hour and a half

short banter demonstrates wit

i will dare to say

Anthony: a long time that is

to exercise my brain cells

they may not make it

Daniels: strong sleep approaches

i will not make it either

very sad panda

Daniel: T.T

Anthony: argument is null

Shaq is holding a panda

what think you now, friend?

Anthony: I hope you sleep well

to homework I must venture

death in its embrace

Daniel: Have fun my good friend

I hope a swift death ensues

lingering pain sucks...

Anthony: so true are your words

homework drains my life slowly

dead I will be soon

Anthony: on my blog i post

of good conversations long

true friends have I, bye

J-Term Trip and major.

This J-term I am lucky enough to be able to go on the Footsteps of Paul trip! Through the donations of others and my summer job I was able to stockpile enough money to pay it off... *phew* load off my mind. Pretty psyched about that.

As for my major, there was much talk as to me changing it, mostly because I didn't like it anymore. I was sure God was telling me to change it, I just didn't know what to change it to. But after a harrowing set of events I am still a computer engineer and as confused as always. Honestly, I feel like I have been tossed around by God over this decision, but I still trust him (not to mention that all the stress and worry that I had about this decision was probably unwarranted).

Fall Break

So fall "break" (its "break" because in reality its only a 3 day weekend) is upon us. Actually, its Saturday, so fall "break" is already here and halfway over. I was lucky enough to not have classes Thursday, and therefore acquired an extra day of breakage. Yay!

Have done list:

- Play Halo 3 ODST more than I should

- Work on the processor I am coding (I got a lot to work!!!)

- Listen to good music on good speakers

- Work the front desk

To do list:

- Hang out with people not in my dorm

- Get grotesque amounts of sleep

- Possibly go do construction

Ahhhh "break"

YAY!!!!!!

Today my friend Jesse proposed to his (now) fiancée, Jessica!!! I am so incredibly excited!!!

Hrm.

Life is interesting. I am confused, and slowly coming to grips with the fact that I have no idea where God is taking me. I am also learning how socially immature I am; not like a junior higher making crude jokes, but like a person who is new to this whole "be with people" thing. My world crumbles quickly when I am faced with stress. The problem is that I work better under stress, so I subconsciously make myself stressed...this sucks.

ANYWHO, I have homework to do.

Life

I am confused. Nothing new, but as usual, its starting to wear on me. To best express how I feel I think it best to recount a recent conversation I had with my good friend, and former roommate, Mike. It went like this:

Me: "I feel like God is closing doors, but not opening anything."

Mike: "He is opening something."

Me: "Yeah, a can of whoop-a**."

It does feel like God is closing all the doors that I was heading towards, then bolting them, padlocking, and arc welding them shut -- just to make sure I don't try and go through them. Maybe its that he hasn't gotten to opening the door yet and I should just be patient. This is probably the case. However, I can't help feeling ill at ease in all of this. It is my junior year and I am pretty sure God doesn't want me to stay in my major, however, he he hasn't really told me where to go either. I also cannot do well in some of my classes. This isn't to say I haven't sunk countless hours into the homework, checking my answers against the book and classmates, or studied for the quizzes I am failing, but for some reason I cannot do well...this sucks.

In the end I know it may not make sense, and I may never know the reason this is all happening, but God is ultimately in control...no matter how hard I may try to wrest control from him. The only thing I ask is that you pray for patience and wisdom for me as I continue on this seemingly perpetual roller coaster of confusion.

32 facts about me

I am working at the front desk and putting off homework; specifically mathematical statistics. Therefore I am going to listen to a random shuffle of my music and compose a list of facts about me...not that anyone should be really interested, I just don't want to do homework. Why 32 things, though? Well, because its a power of 2 (2^5 to be exact) and powers of 2 are more friendly than multiples of things. They are in no specific order.

1) Rajaonarivony is a Malagasy name that means "Sir John Brown"... a let down I know.

2) I will always test positive for TB, but will never get it because of a vaccine I was given when I was born.

3) I was born in Heidelburg, Germany in a civilian hospital.

4) Right after I was born I had a spring-like object screwed into my skull to test for stress. The scar is still there.

5) I love to ride my bike and would rather ride my bike somewhere than drive a car.

6) In high school I was the snare squad leader with my friend. We were the tasty percussion.

7) If I didn't like the way the snare part for a marching band song sounded, my band director would let me rewrite it.

8) I love not wearing shoes.

9) I don't like wearing pants, but by pants I mean something that covers both your legs completely. Shorts are my fare.

10) I used to be a complete computer geek, but God (by way of some friends at Taylor sometimes) has broken me out of my shell. Now I can hold a conversation without talking about them!

11) God has broken me in more ways than I can count.

12) I am incredibly observant...except when it has to do with me. When that happens I am usually clueless.

13) I am 50% Malagasy on my father's side.

14) I am trying to learn French because half my family (once again on my father's side) speaks it as a first or second language. English is usually their third, farther back, or they don't learn it.

15) I love music from the 50's, 60's, and 70's.

16) Five Iron Frenzy is my favorite band of all time.

17) I believe that every man should know how to cook at least a little.

18) I love baking pies, they are just time-consuming.

19) I have had lemurs climb all over me.

20) I absolutely love to build things with my hands.

21) I always wanted a brother or sister, but am an only child.

22) I have been through a lot of crap. If I trust you a lot, and the subject comes up, I might tell you about it.

23) God has changed me a TON for the better, unfortunately I still have a long way to go.

24) I really like to hang out with people, especially at a coffee house.

25) I have 5 instant messaging clients that are all shown through one application on my computer. When someone gets on, it alerts me, it doesn't matter who it is or on what chat client. So if I message you right when you get on, I am not stalking you. Just fyi.

26) I am sort of fed up with the American culture and our ignorance of the rest of the world.

27) I love learning about other cultures.

28) I love change. Not the pocket kind, but the kind that keeps things exciting.

29) Because my parents are divorced, and my father's parents are divorced, dating relationships scare me.

30) I find women incredibly scary/confusing.

31) I have been gut-punched by God before...not fun, but needed.

32) I love to try new foods (provided they don't look like they could kill me...like centipedes...)

God is doin' his thang

God is seriously messing with me right now. I don't mean in the bad way, but instead in much the same way as one would mess up a pile of legos so he could see all the pieces before he builds a life size, and functional, Death Star model. This is not to say that God is an avid Star Wars fan, but I can't think of anything more epic/impossible to build (save creation, but he has been there, done that).

The only thing I know for sure right now is that I know nothing. For a guy that loves knowing exactly what to do this is a huge problem; but that is probably the point. My current theory (here I go again...) is that God is breaking me of my dependence on a "mapquest" faith. I need to stop asking where and when God wants me to turn and where exactly he is taking me, and just trust him to lean over, wake me up, and quietly tell me to turn before I drive into the wall (not to say that my faith should not be attentive, it was just more interesting if I added in the wall and sleeping, in real life God will spice it up like he always does).

As I grow older (and hopefully more mature), I realize more and more that following God wholeheartedly is downright terrifying. You don't know where he is taking you, sometimes he pulls the emergency brake on the highway and scares the giblets out of you. Its not always fun, its rarely "safe", and in the end the destination is AWESOME; but until you get there you will probably be confused.

Also, what is the deal with God taking me off-roading in a diesel, stick shift, Volkswagen Rabbit with the dashboard replaced with light switches?

A formal complaint

Blargenstuff.

Anyways, school started. I have classes/classwork. I need sleep. I need to get a life.

Yay?

School starts on the morrow....angst.

This is so true

courtesy of xkcd

Crazy Update Post

Ok, haven't posted in a while... er, sort of. Gonna describe the days, starting last Friday:

Friday: Went to a family birthday party. Turns out it was a family birthday party, everyone was as surprised as I was that it was partially for me. My name was eventually squeezed somewhat awkwardly onto the cake in black frosting...everything else was written in orange. I love my family! (and I mean that from the bottom of my heart)

Saturday: Ran errands mostly and dropped my bike off at the bike shop for a tuneup. While there I was again shown how many words I can forget in a single sentence. I left embarrassed, sure that everyone there was still wondering what I was saying.

Sunday: Went to Blossom and listened to the Cleveland Orchestra (one of the best in the world!) play music from science fiction movies and tv shows. 'Twas indescribably amazing! (wait, was that a description?...dang it)

Monday: 'Twas my b-day, and I went to out to eat at a new Japanese restaurant by my house.

Tuesday: My uncle and his friend from California flew in, and we watched the Indians/Angels baseball game. The Indians lost, of course and my uncle and his friend were happy (Angels fans).

Wednesday: Went to Cedar Point with my uncle, my mom, and my uncle's friend. Went on the Millennium Force (steel coaster), 80º+ degree drop from 310 (ish) ft to 10 ft, reaching a top speed of 93 mph. My uncle and his friend sat in the front seat whilst I sat right behind them. Toured a couple of other wooden coasters and one wooden/steel mix before topping it all off with the Top Thrill Dragster. This baby starts you on the ground by firing you at 120 mph into a 100% vertical climb to 410ft. before the 400ft fall on the loop back to earth. So fun, so fun. Also, I got to practice my physics and engineering as my uncle (a PHD physicist), his friend (environmental engineer), and I (confused engineering student) all tried to figure out how the propulsion and braking systems worked. Of course there was the girl behind us in line who butted in and tried to tell us that it worked one way, while we knew otherwise (it was only obvious to those who knew what to look for).

Thursday: Uncle and friend flew out at 8 in the morning. I practiced a bit on my punching bag and stretched (something I have been neglecting to do while home, and my body hates me for not doing it like I did all summer). Mom got home from work, we ordered pizza and watched "Grand Turino", which, by the way, is an amazing movie that everyone should see...just watch out for bad language.

Which brings us to now. The fire I built up is starting to die down (on purpose) and we have roasted our last marshmallow. Good week.

For all you vocabulary buffs out there

http://gis.washington.edu/phurvitz/outgoing/bustagut/Non-SlanderousPoliticalSmearSpeech.htm

'Nuff said.

New music

I decided that I wanted some more CDs yesterday, so I let myself spend $35 at the local buy/sell place called Buybacks. Here is my haul:

Underdog - Audio Adrenaline

Hit Parade - Audio Adrenaline

Millennium - Earth, Wind & Fire

An Ocean Between Us - As I Lay Dying

Pray - M.C. Hammer

Get a Grip - Aerosmith

Take Me to Your Leader - Newsboys

Not bad for only a little money. However, you may notice that there isn't really any new music in there, so if you know my music tastes well enough (I like non-whiny music, rock, ska, and instrumentals) please recommend new artists to me.

Bad day to ride a bike

Rode my bike to Lowes today (about 7 miles one way), turns out it was higher than 90º and humid as all-get-out...bleah. Oh, yeah, there was also a strong gusting headwind in my face both ways...I didn't even know that was possible. Anyways, when I got to Lowes, I was nauseous from the heat. The good news is that Lowes sells water! I priced wood for my mom's workbench and looked at power tools and rode back. Overall it was a good day.

Summer vacation just started...

I got home yesterday and hung out with two friends from high school. Its really weird how people change (in a good way). Anyways, we talked about what we have been doing since the last time we saw each other, then we visited the Corn Festival...yes, corn! We ate some delicious fair food, watched fireworks, and I won a goldfish (I gave it to one of my friends)!

Wisdom tooth

Just finished brushing my teeth and noticed that my upper left wisdom tooth (yes, I got to keep mine!) decided to not be straight. All my wisdom teeth came in straight...all of them. All of them were straight the last time I checked, which I admit is not that often. I have had them for years and the dentist never said anything. But now my upper left wisdom tooth is at about a 20º angle from plumb.

Weird.

Major Change

Something interesting happened today. I was talking to one of my professors about how I don't really know what to do with my life and he recommended I try civil engineering. For those of you who don't know, my major right now is computer engineering, and frankly its not for me. He said that Taylor's environmental engineering degree is almost civil engineering, plus we got a new prof who teaches civil engineering, so they could change the degree for me (its a small school, it happens). I am excited, and am praying about it. Please pray that God will give me foresight and lead me in the direction he wants me to go.

A thank you to a friend

I think this deserves a special mention: today was incredibly stressful, but I talked to a friend that made it much better. Thank you for cheering me up!

Return of the Scintillator... *runs screaming*

Well, today was an interesting day, a day that will forever live in infamy. The scintillator of my nightmares has returned.

To give some background to those of you who don't know what I am talking about, I will briefly describe to you the circumstances leading up to this point. Last semester (spring of 2009), I had a project for my class "Principles of Engineering", that project was to send a sensor up in a high altitude balloon that would reach near space, and then analyze the data. My sensor was a scintillator. We sent it up. It didn't work. High voltage caused arcing and everything died (or at least it seemed that way). I still needed data and so I worked 48 hours in one week trying to get this circuit to work. It didn't. It even turns out that my professor actually made another circuit for me, but never told me. Needless to say, I hated that thing, and was glad when it was over.

Fast forward to today, last week of work for the summer (at least for this project). My boss, who coincidentally was the professor I had for Principles, comes up to me and wants me to make a scintillator circuit...yeah...but not just any circuit, he wants me to use my old one...the one that never worked. He is well-meaning, and didn't know all the grief that bloody circuit gave me, but I am sure he could tell I was extremely agitated no matter how hard I tried to hide it.

Good news is that I finally got this thing to work-ish after 8 hours of hard work. Turns out (and I suspected this, but never was given new parts) that the original arcing on the circuit fried the op-amp, and microprocessor - two vital components. I guess thats what happens when 1000 volts gets pumped into circuitry that is only meant to handle 5 volts. Now I just need to get new chips for it, and it should work...then take it off the bread board and solder it...BLEAH.

Being a follower

I was talking to my boss today and was getting a frustrated, not with him, but with myself. You see, he is the kind of guy (and he said this to me) that loves someone to just tell him to do something broad, like "make this accelerator work, we don't really know much about it, but just make it work." He does not like getting told specific things to do and the like at all. In fact, it seemed to me that he talked down about the kind of people who need that, because they are not motivated enough. "You need to be self motivated," he said afterwards. Now he wasn't reprimanding me, just making a statement. I agree with his assertion, however I am conflicted about his definition of "motivated". It seems to me that he defines "motivated" as "you need to be able and like to have little or no guidance in your job".

Let me digress a bit now. All around us, at graduations, at motivational speeches, in churches (in somewhat a different sense, though), and advertisements we see people pushing us to be leaders. I feel as if wherever I go, people expect me to be a leader, in fact, they expect everyone to be a leader. Being a loyal follower (not a person on a leash, but someone who follows intelligently) is looked down upon; or at least it seems that way. Is it so bad to be a follower? Obviously not everyone can be a leader, or else nothing would get done. Even leaders are rendered moot if they have no one to lead.

Back to my original story. Unlike my boss, I like being told what to do (to an extent). I find the challenge not in trying to solve an incredibly broad problem, but doing it the most efficient way possible while still doing the job better than right. I get my satisfaction by crossing things off a list, and being able to say, "I did that to the best of my ability." There are situations where I will step up and lead, but usually I will step aside if anyone else wants to lead instead, simply because I would rather follow. But I also don't follow blindly. I asses the situation, and if I feel it is not morally or ethically right, I say something.

My boss is a good man, but I don't think he understands where I come from. In a world that constantly strives to push people to be leaders, no one tells their children or those that they mentor that following is o.k., too. In movies the leader always gets the glory, not those who supported him when he was about to die. In politics the main politician gets the glory, not his advisory board that gave him sound advice. At work the team leader gets the glory, not the accountant that churned through who knows how many spreadsheets to find that bloody error. I am not saying the follower should get all the attention, but I think its important to know that, yes, we can be a follower, and still be an intelligent and hard working individual.

When I told my boss, an engineer with a PHD, that I was thinking of just going into construction (I love construction and working with wood), not dropping out, but doing construction after school, he seemed to strongly oppose it. He kept saying that I should start my own business, or be an engineer that makes a ton of money. Those are good things, but not for me. Making money isn't everything, and neither is leading.

I am sorry if this post was not really well written, I just wrote things as they came to mind.

Free steak

I decided to leave work 30 minutes early, and dropped a binder off in the Dungeon. On my way upstairs a secretary asked me if I was busy. Frankly I was terrified because I thought she was going to ask me to do something for her, probably on her computer. BUT NO! She asked if I wanted a free steak dinner. Yeah, you heard me right, FREE STEAK DINNER!!! All I had to do was walk to the D.C. Turns out that a couple of people left a workshop early and there were two free steak dinners. So Rachel and I walked over to the D.C. and ate free steak. But it was also WRAPPED IN BACON!!!! Yeah. Yes it was. It was also cooked exactly the way I like it: medium rare and seeping just the right amount of blood (don't worry its not bad, I just don't know how to describe it). Oh yeah, and we got strawberry shortcake for desert.

Good day.

Over-weighted-ness

I have recently been thinking of how there are many people that are disgustingly overweight. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about someone with more fat than what is healthy, I am talking about people that HAVE to waddle when they walk. They sway back and forth like a palm tree hitting resonant frequency in a hurricane.

I have not always been in a healthy weight, but usually I have been close. I have usually striven (is that even a word?) to burn fat even at my laziest (pretty dang lazy). I DO NOT understand why people don't walk enough that they cannot walk without looking like a duck with two injured legs. It is one thing to be overweight in America, or the western world in general, that is understandable to an extent. But it is a completely other thing to be so sedentary that your body ceases to show any signs of a metabolism (medical reasons not included).

I am usually very happy when I see a heavier individual accepting their weight and being self confident. But when I see people with no will to become healthy when it is VERY obvious that they just need to walk more, it makes me sad. Be confident, but at least try to be healthy. Eat a salad, walk somewhere, don't eat something dripping with chemicals and grease.

In all reality this applies to people who look healthy and are not as well.

(May it be noted that I completely understand medical difficulties that bar some people from being able to do this, and I am ok with that. Its just the people who are blatantly disregarding anything healthy.)

Presentation

Well, I gave my presentation of my research today. It went well for the most part...I think. God gave me fluent enough speech that I was complimented on my "stage presence" by Dr. Bradle!

Hoo Ha Fuzzy Weasels!

Things I did yesterday

Replaced a door knob after the old one fell off, re-hung a towel rack that had fallen off the wall (put drywall sinks in the holes), and tried the 3rd drain un-clogger (the heaviest duty I could find). The first two work great now, but the drain is still clogged...bleah.

That felt good.

I worked my butt off yesterday, almost literally, (I had to re-tighten the bolts holding in on). I pretty poured concrete into cinderblocks that were over my head hight-wise, and shoveled rocks for 8 hours. Hard work, but for some reason fun. I then rode my bike home. Needless to say I was exhausted, but I stayed up until 10:30 pm before going to bed (don't worry, this is going somewhere).

This morning I woke up at 6:00, got ready for the day, and rode my bike 5 miles to Exit 59 at 7:15 am. I did this because a small group of people from Exit were going to install a wheelchair ramp for a lady in Marion. They were going to meet at 8:00 at Exit, and drive over. Well, 8:00 came and went and no one was to be seen...rain clouds were also coming over and it was getting cold (I was only wearing a t-shirt and shorts, hardly cold-and-rainy gear), and was thinking of going home. God, however had different plans and kept telling me in that still small voice that he has got it all under control...so I waited. At about 8:30 they came, and then it started raining (just in time for me to get out of the rain!).

Turns out that the lady we built the ramp for has cerebral palsy and has been stuck in her house for a year because she couldn't get down the precarious stairs. It felt great, and I felt actually useful...Yay God!

Blocking ads

So apparently Ad-Blocker (on safari) only blocks the displaying of ads, not actually loading them. I accidentally clicked on a blank space on my screen and BAM! a popup appeared.

Humbug

Bear with me as I may go nerd on you.

This week I found out that what we thought (or at least what I thought we thought...no one tells me anything) were two computers turned out to be one cable passthrough and one computer. I am speaking, of course, of the...thing...that came with the particle accelerator. The initial plan was to write a program that would replace one of the computers and probe the other one that only "conditions" the signals into readable voltages/forms. HA!

Ok, let me explain further. The particle accelerator/klystron/power cabinet/master oscillator, all of them, output signals to the computer. This computer is made to condition those signals into something that will not overload the delicate circuitry (-10V to +10V is on the outer edge of being acceptable). This is a custom designed/built computer of old (1995). It is so old that its ram is partially connected to the rest of the system through IDE cables...yeah. Without going to in-depth, to hook my program/computer up to this system would be the equivalent of taking two computers running say Windows 3x and Ubuntu, wiring the Ubuntu machine into the Windows machine (probing for signals, and sending signals into places they would overwrite the Windows' machine's signals). Then, run completely different, custom designed software on both machines to do relatively the same thing, just the Ubuntu machine has newer software. Watch everything go to hell.

This is my job. I have no idea how to do it. I have really no idea where to start anymore. BLEAH! Tomorrow I am going to see if I can trace cables and see if it is at all possible to scrap the whole machine and just emulate it. Luckily (I want to kiss the man/woman who did this) for some reason all the memory addresses/bus transfer (I don't know which) for the data/signals are given to me in hex; thank the Lord. So vaguely theoretically, I can pretend my program is the old computer and just accept and decode the signals; but its a stretch.

Please pray.

Things that happened today

Today's happenings:

Found mouse turds in one of the computer cases that came with the particle accelerator from a hospital.

Traced conductor leads on an old circuit board to find cable pinouts.

Accidentally wrote half my documentation in french...don't blame me, the stuff I am checking is written in both french and english, but I understand both...

Once again came to the conclusion that Legal Pads are my best friend.

Ate some delicious left over tilapia.

Found out the computer rack for the accelerator is on rollers to roll it out of its enclosure.

What happened this weekend?

There was a skype party on saturday. These things are incredibly fun, although this one is the first one I made it to. Most of the time we could all hear Jeff's parents talking in the background, almost always bringing hilarity with it.

This is actually next weekend, but a group from my church is putting a wheelchair ramp in for someone. Hopefully I can make it, and get a chance to use my new impact driver!

Just existing

Today I realized that this last couple of weeks I have been simply existing, nothing more. I have not really enjoyed life, nor have I loathed it, I have just sort of been there. The best way I can describe it is thus (ok, so this is NOT the best way...I lied, but it is much more interesting): Its like being a mediocre guy on a blind date with a mediocre girl at the Dining Commons. During this date neither of you talk, you just sit and eat. Eventually friends come along, some for you, and some for the girl, and you go your separate ways; forgetting that you were even on a date. Now, a couple hours later, you can't even remember what she looked like or what her name was. You can however remember that she was the most awesome person you ever met, but now you never have the chance to meet her again.

That was my last couple of weeks.

New layout?

Does anyone like this new layout, I can't decide if I do. Extremely tired of the old one, though.

Things I find incredibly irritating

Someone doing a lot of texting with the button tones turned on.

Trying to help someone with their computer, when they don't want to learn, they just want you to do it for them...over and over again.

There is no such thing as "a bluetooth"...bluetooth is a wireless standard used to transmit data short distances, not the thing in your ear. Saying "I bought a bluetooth today" is the equivalent of buying a book and saying "I bought an english."

People claiming that I can't pronounce my last name, just because I don't want to say it. I have been asked how to pronounce my name at least 3 times by every person I have ever met, it just gets old after 15 years, ya know? Plus: its my last name, why wouldn't I learn how to say it?

Note: This is not a rant (except for the first one) simply a list of things that irritate me and the reason why.

Something witty

I would love to put something wry and witty here, but honestly nothing is coming to mind. Lately I have been playing Halo 3 online. And I have nothing else to say.

Bad Habits #2

I have discovered today that if I get really excited and then try to type in a password, I add "!" to the end...

Growing a beard

Ok, so this has nothing to do with growing a beard, its just something I have always wanted to do.

I watched "Speed Racer: The Movie" with Laura the other day whilst making sarcastic comments over aim. Hopefully this year we can all watch horrible movies together during an episode of "Terrible Movies With Tony". Its gonna be a blast!!

FIE ON LABVIEW!!!

I think Labview is foaming at the mouth...*tells Labview that he is going to make everything better, grabs his shotgun, leads Labview to behind the shed out back*...

4th of July

Today I realized that living on your own has more more disadvantages than I thought, mainly holidays are lonely. I spent today alone (Caleb was awake and here for only a little while before leaving to hang with friends). To top it off, the sky was grey and it was drizzling all day, so bike riding was out of the question (it is very dangerous to ride on a slick country road, much more so than a slick city road...cars going 55 mph and all). To celebrate the holiday I cooked ate 2 hamburgers, hardly anything for someone who missed a massive family get-together today at home.

But it is not all doom and gloom, God still has me cradled in his arms. First of all, Brian called today just to chat, for which I am incredibly grateful. Second, at 10 o'clock, just as the air raid siren (placed conveniently close to my apartment) was going off, I went outside to see if I could see fireworks. This was pretty much a no-go even though I can here them all around me. The only ones I could see were miles away to the east, so far in fact that I had to get on the Upland bridge and peer through a small hole in the trees in the distance (all the rest were behind trees, and without transportation...), but even then I could only see the ones REALLY high up. But there, standing on the bridge in the light rain, I realized that this wasn't all bad.

Back before most, if not all of you knew me (you would have had to know me around my freshman year of high school at least), I was an angry child. Not wholly so, it was more of a reaction to the extreme lostness, loneliness, and hurt I felt. That feeling of feeling abandoned was far worse than what I felt today...and I felt it all the time. Yeah, a holiday by yourself with no one to share it with sucks, but a life without God is worse. I was a christian more by words than actions. So, against all common sense (if I have learned anything from my walk with God, its that His perfect plan doesn't always, if ever, match up with my "common sense") I thank God for today. I feel like junk today, but He took me out of feeling like junk everyday. Through this He also taught me even more the importance of family. But most of all, I know that no matter what, God's got my back.

HOOYEAH!

I believe I went insane today, but in a good way. It is a beautiful day today in the great Upland area, and I couldn't stand sitting inside all day doing who-knows-what...so I decided to ride my bike...to Wal*mart. All in all I rode about 30 miles today and I feel GREAT! As of right now, I have only eaten a bowl of oatmeal, a protein bar, and a yogurt smoothie (cooking dinner as I type). The crazy part? I wasn't winded when I got to Wal*mart or my apartment. Don't get me wrong, my muscles are tired, but I was not winded...I think the end of the world is coming...I am relatively healthy.....oh dear.

Also: this beats my previous record of distance ridden at one time by 3 miles.

Extremely funny comic...and true

Yeah so I found this at Dinosaur Comics.

also...

I feel like having another picture on my page...so here is one of Mr. B, my cat ("B" stands for Buenegin, it was supposed to be Bugenhagen, the old dude in Cosmo Canyon in Final Fantasy VII, but I forgot his name at the vets...)

Drained

Right now I am drained, and I don't know why. Ok, maybe I do...the last couple of days I have been slipping in my walk with God, just not really trying to be close to him. Frankly it sucks. You know what? I am going to stop that right now and go do something like read the Bible.

Salad

My recipe for a "man salad":

romaine lettuce

grilled squash, zucchini, and cucumber

roma tomatoes

onions

baby corn

bacon

Heck yes!

My style.

So, this pretty much sums up my style, in the immortal words of Strong Bad:

Opening Rhino… Rhino Feeder...
Huh? {shakes head}
I was dreaming about… muffins.
I wake up every morning
feeling awesome,
even though I slept on the remote again last night.
Ow!

Time to tear up another day.
The Strong Bad freaking way!
Like an imploding star,
like a burning car,
my style shines so bright!

Please, stop trying,
To handle my style.
'Cause you can’t,
No you can’t!
uhn
Handle my style.

Seriously,
quit trying,
to handle my style.

Unless you’re a lady.
then you’re cordially invited
To have a giant slice of my style!!! [edit] Closing So you see people,
that's why you can't,
no you can't, uhn,
handle my style,
because it's hot,
so please allow 10 to 15 minutes for it to properly cool before you try to handle my style!!!

Church is awesome!

This morning I woke up (after sleeping in an hour) not feeling good, which is a problem because I ride my bike to church. I prayed about it, and figured God would get me to church if He wanted me to go (which with God is highly likely). I ate breakfast and got ready, got on my bike and started riding. Something I should say to preface what is coming up: the ride to church is a pretty straight shot of road with a bunch of hills starting out and I have been riding my bike all summer, so my muscles can take the strain. Back to my story... as I turned out of the great city of Upland, the wind smacked me in the face... literally, my bike actually swerved off the road into the gravel on the side, which is dangerous (gravel doesn't bode well with a hybrid urban bike that has relatively skinny tires; tends to make you fall). Fortunately I didn't fall, but I was faced with (I checked this on the internet) constant 18 mph winds buffeting me, along with gusts that went to 27 mph. This sucked a lot, and by the time I got to church I was crawling along (for me) at what I guess to be 10 mph (I usually go about 18 to church, as an average), and was all but hyperventilating. I have never breathed so hard and fast after a bike ride.

Now to the good part. I got to church with plenty of time to stretch, and the wind helped me to evaporate the mass amounts of sweat. I got coffee, nice columbian stuff. The sermon was about us needing to stop only "consuming" the Word and start teaching it to others as well. Afterwards, the church had a cookout (Exit 59, for those of you who know the region) and I met some really cool people. And finally, when I rode home that 18 mph wind + gusts was at my back and I think my average speed was around 23 mph...ahhhhh, nice and relaxing.

Needless to say, God is cool, and still would be if the wind was in my face coming back and it was raining. He takes such good care of me, even when it doesn't look that way.

Go, Go, Power Rangers!

Just so you know, I watched Power Rangers The Movie today with Colgan! 'Twas hilarious.

Talked to my cousin Joela today as well. We are trying to help each other with grammar.

Voluntary lunges (Update!)

So, just for fun, I want to see how far I can do lunges. My goal is to get to Taylor from my apartment (probably 1.5 miles), but I am pretty confident I won't make it that far. On a completely related note, I think I am going to buy some protein.

Uptade: I didn't get very far at all, just over the bridge by my apartment...sad. However, I did end up running to within a half mile of Taylor from there, so I think I made up for it.

The man upstairs

Just wanted to say that the man upstairs really knows what he is doing.

Concrete

I poured concrete yesterday for the radiation retaining wall around the particle accelerator. Nice upper body workout. Daniel also came up yesterday and we watched Pokemon 3! Wow, that was a funny movie. For those of you who know pokemon, there were only 2 (i think) evolved pokemon in the entire movie that fought.

Anyways, I also read up on a whole bunch of powertools yesterday in order to know the slight differences, like an impact driver and an impact wrench, they look the same but operate differently. That operating difference is the difference between drilling a screw, and hammering a screw, good thing to know. Also, my professor calls drills "screw guns". I had never heard that term before, so I looked it up, and they are not the same. A screw gun is made for drywall and looks like a drill but without a chuck (has a "nose" instead), and some can even auto-feed screws from a clip ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Screw_gun ).

Saturday

I really relaxed today, it was nice. The highlight was most definitely sitting in a rocking chair at Colgan's reading through Ruth...ahhhhh.

Pies and fighter planes

The strawberry festival(?) in Upland was the 13th (if you can really call it a festival, twas very small), so I bought 2 quarts of strawberries. Now, I like to make pies, therefore it was within reason for me to make 2 pies out of the 2 quarts of fresh strawberries that I had just acquired. I decided to make a straight up 2 crust (wow, the number two comes up a lot...) strawberry pie and give it to the Colgans because I hang out at their house all the time, eat their food, and use their washing machine. I also made a strawberries and cream pie for myself, my roomate, and whoever we wanted to share it with. Long story short: they were/are delicious, and the crust (the hardest part by far) came out perfect with, I am convinced, a huge amount of help from God. I decided to glaze the crust with some of the left over heavy whipping cream I had; not whipped cream mind you, they are very different.

And to explain the "fighter planes" part of the title, I have been playing "Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X." It is a really fun game that I got FOR FREE from the Dungeon (they came with something or other and no one wanted them). Extremely fun game.

Ahhhhhh (a sigh of contentedness)

I had a great day today. God once again blew my mind with his love for me, don't ask me how (honestly, I was just minding my own business, and BAM it hit me: God loves me more than I could ever know). Maybe it was because I was truly at rest today and I could hear his still, small voice. Maybe it was the love that passes between people in a small town, the kindness shown to a stranger that is oft not found anywhere else. Maybe it was the beautiful weather and the sun's rays peeking through the clouds (not the sun, just the rays...beautiful...). Whatever it was, the passion that God showed me today of his love for me and everything else actually made me cry. It was so powerful, so huge, so all encompassing.

Often times I get busy in my day-to-day life (I know, "#@$%@#$%, not another one of these speeches!") and forget to just relax and really enjoy God's creation and his very real presence. I am dumbfounded every time He shows me something like this; it just overpowers me.

During the summer we often try so hard to relax that we never really do. Do yourself a favor and spend one hour by yourself doing something truly relaxing in nature. For me it was riding my bike, looking at the scenery, and thinking. You know what it is for you, so do it and listen to God.

Yet another post tonight

If you read my blog (how else would you be seeing this? I don't know...), you should check out my friend's blog

http://denaje.blogspot.com/

An odd finding

I just finished Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew" tonight. Shakespeare uses the word "wench" a lot in reference to women, even in a good sense, so I decided to make sure I was interpreting the word correctly. Here is what I found (Oxford Dictionary):

wench |wen ch |noun archaic or humorousa girl or young woman.• archaic a prostitute.

To my surprise the definition that I always thought of was the archaic one. For some reason society has made this word take on its older meaning rather than its more prominent (I say "prominent" describing the first, real definition above) and correct (?) definition.

Needless to say I will not be using this word in my everyday vocabulary, but it is interesting to see how we choose definitions; mainly the more detrimental ones (example: "ass").

Bad habit

Just noticed that I have a horrible habit. If a webpage is loading slowly (like a movie is buffering) I will open up a new tab to load while the old one is loading. While this new tab loads, I open another one...this continues until I have about 7 tabs....bleah.

Current happenings

We got the water pump at my professor's house working today! I did the wiring and some other little stuff and well, now it works. Currently it is pumping water into his lake to fill it up. Other than that we are starting to make headway on his dock, putting up the bracers and crossbeams.

Back at the college I am pouring concrete for the walls in the accelerator room and my weak upper body is getting a workout...yay! Okay, so its not all that weak, but compared to my legs that get a constant workout from riding to work, church, and anywhere else I need to go, my upper body is shriveled up.

Its great to get home from work physically exhausted, take a shower, then a nap, have a late dinner, and know that you did good work.

Lets see, what happened today?

1) I found out that the accelerator needs more inputs/outputs than we have available.

2) Began completely restructuring my control program, effectively wiping out a ton of my work. However its all good because I now know how to use Labview and do things quicker and this will make my program a lot more efficient and user friendly.

3) Colgan came over my house! We watched "Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie", laughed hysterically, played a little Burnout Revenge, and did dishes (I need to wash them more often...). I also made steak and broccoli for the two of us, 'twas delish.

Work

I did work for my professor today on his property. 'Twas a lot of fun, cut down trees, cleared some brush and got some wiring ready for a well pump. While I was clearing the brush I happened upon a thin tree which was to be cut down, so I cut about 3/4 of the way through the trunk, set down my chainsaw, then put as much force into hitting the tree over. It was right then, as I threw my palm against the side of the tree with all my force, that I realized that this tree is a thorn tree. How did I come to realize this? Well, as my palm hit the tree I felt a great pain in my hand, right at the first knuckle of my middle finger. When I pulled my hand away I saw a 1 inch thorn right where my hand was...yeah, the bugger went all the way to the bone...yeah, it hurts like crap (sorry mom). Since I don't have an inch of skin between the outside world and said knuckle, I think the thorn hit my bone, then curved (it was a "somewhat" malleable thorn) to the left (looking at my palm) around my knuckle. Needless to say, my hand hurts with quite the dull pain whenever I move my middle finger. Luckily it was a clean stab, so I don't think it will get infected; just hurt like heck.

Beauty

As I was putting my shoes on this morning I looked at my messenger bag and noticed an inch worm. I ended up staring at it for about 3 minutes in amazement. God's creation is incredibly beautiful, and for the life of me I cannot understand how people can see all the intricacies of it all and still think it came from a pool of slime (I don't blame Darwin because to my understanding he did not "invent" evolution to that extent, but micro-evolution. Correct me if I am wrong, please).

On another note, my mom came up to visit this weekend and her car broke down yesterday. Bleah. So now she probably needs a new car as this was her summer to buy a new one anyways (by "new" I mean used), and this is a particularly expensive repair (we think). So please pray for that one.

Growing up

I woke up yesterday at 7:00 to enjoy the morning and leave time for me to sip my coffee and read the news before I leave my apartment (in Indiana) for my full-time (summer) job. As I brushed by teeth, I looked into the mirror and realized: I am an adult now, and will never be a child again.

Its not too profound a though, I realize, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Gone of the days of blissful ignorance and no responsibility. Now I must make a living, pay my debts, wake myself up on time, and take care of the house. It all makes sense, now, how my mom ran the house. All the things she did that irritated me (like always telling me to wash the dishes and clean my room) I now do out of necessity.

I don't quite know how to process this stuff yet without coming to a sad realization and stopping there, so I will mull this over for a few days.

YAY!

My internets are up!

Jorbs and stuff

First of all, my internet at my apartment is still having problems.

Secondly, I am finally starting to understand this new coding language! I am making actual progress, not just fooling around with the program. So far I am programming the safety program (it monitors critical sensors, like the klystron temperature) and currently have a working temperature monitor and a door sensor!!

Etherblurgs!

My etherblurgs get turned on today! More posts to come as I have time to type them.

Interblags

Lets see...my internet gets turned on tomorrow, I rode my bike to church today, and I started learning left-handed dvorak yesterday.

Work

It is one of my jobs this summer to code a control program for the particle accelerator at my college; in a language that I am learning as I type. Intimidating, challenging, and somewhat frustrating...just the way I like it (or at least close to it).

Also: my french is getting better!

Slightly immature

I was talking with a friend today and this question came to my mind:

If you are productive doing a task and someone tells you to do the task again, does that make you reproductive the second time you complete the task?

Don't read too much into this, in fact don't read into it at all. Just take it for face value.

Car

Caleb's car got fixed and he is leaving today. Now I am all alone in the apartment... He'll be back mid June, though, so its all good.

Decided to get a routine going so I make sure I get stuff done. It is as follows:

7:00 wake up, drink coffee, and get ready for work (also breakfast)

8:30 ride to work

8:40 do stretches upon arriving to work

9:00 start work

5:00 pm eat dinner clean up

6:00 practice drums

6:30 practice french

7:00 - 10:00 whatever

Work and interwebs

Work starts today and the etherblags (internet) at my apartment still isn't working.

Another year ends

College is out and all my friends are leaving for home, save a select few. I am staying here in an apartment "downtown" (if you can call that teeny-tiny thing downtown) doing construction work for one of my professors and working with Taylor's particle accelerator. Current goals for the summer:

1. Become fluent in French (I bought language software)

2. Get in shape (Lean Body Fat Ratio of 18% or lower)

3. Get a tan (shouldn't be too hard since I am doing construction)

asonetuh

Finals = Done. Initial damage assessment is 2 passed well, one passed o.k., 2 failed. Not so bad.

Differential Equations

I can see "freedom" on the horizon. There is just one more final blocking my way: Differential Equations. I need to get an 80% on this test so pray that I am motivated to study and do well.

Summer...so...close...

Three finals down, two to go.

hmmmmm

So lately (and by lately I mean this whole school year) I have been struggling with self worth. As a man (I say this because I have heard learned men say this is true) I tend to find my worth in things I achieve; just one problem: I never seem to achieve anything. I struggle in almost all my classes for reasons I know not and things I know I can do extremely well still seem hard, and often end in failure.

Now I know I am not stupid. In the past I have won math competitions (given it was in 7th grade, but that still has to count for something), helped the salutatorian in my high-school with calculus, passed tests with high grades after sleeping through class without studying, and wrote my entire senior (high-school) term paper the night before and got a 288 out of 300, missing what I did only because of missing punctuation (dang sleep deprived-ness).

But then college came and I can almost literally feel something holding me back. I now am horrible at math, math I had mastered in high-school, and I can't seem to learn new stuff. The tests are harder, so now I study and do homework, and instead of my grades falling a little due to harder tests they have plummeted.

I am feeling extremely worthless right now. I know it is Satan telling me that I am worthless, but I am having an incredibly hard time countering his arguments. I need to find my worth in Christ, but I no matter how hard I try I still feel worthless. I don't know what is going on, holding me back, or what to do. Blarg.

Finals week is upon us

So, um, finals week is upon us. After I finish finals I grab my already packed belongings and move over to my new home for the summer: an apartment. Should be really interesting because I will be living there by myself for about a month since the guy I am staying with is going home for a little while. Rent is cheap and I don't have to pay utilities. I do however have to go to a laundromat...BAH! Maybe I will hand wash my clothes.

Dead week

So this week is "dead week", the week before finals....I just found out yesterday...I thought it was next week. Poo.

Balloon Update

So I have worked my a** off for this bloody project and it still is not working. I swear I have spent (not exaggerating) at least 48 hours by now on it. My professor wants me to do more on it because I need real data. Ok, I can do that, because they have given me a new circuit. I walk in there today and he makes it sound like I have barely done any work, am slacking, and am making everyone else do my work for me. He even said, "Everyone is working really hard to help you... This should have been done earlier... You haven't shown me any work." @$%^@%^@#%^@#%^

I am about to break. I have tests in my two hardest classes coming up, I have two presentations coming up (one of which is for the balloon thing), and two project due dates coming up. Also, I am currently failing Differential Equations, but I can bring my grade up because I am starting to understand things... if I can only get time to bloody study!

90% of my breaking point stress quota has been reached. If I hit my breaking point I am just going to stop caring, and I can't afford that.

Hectic bunch of weeks

So I seem to be slacking in posting updates. Well then.

We had a balloon launch that failed horribly (for my sensor) because the power supply arced over and flooded the circuit with about 1000 Volts. I then, with my partner, had to make a poster to present to judges, professors, and peers...with our data, or complete lack thereof. This wasn't a complete downer though, because its all part of experimenting when you fail. However, we were given another chance to launch our sensor. I spent 1.5 days de-soldering and re-soldering our circuit, then another .5 days testing and troubleshooting our circuit, all while spending 1.5 straight days working on our poster; meaning if our sensor worked, I would have to completely redo our poster to reflect our new data.

The launch was today at 9:30 am. Our sensor was not ready. Bleah. On the bright side we have our poster all but completely done. On the not so bright side we have very little to no data to show for weeks worth of work. Once again: Bleah.

On a different note, my grandpa came up to visit me for grandparents day (yes, they do have those in college...at least ours). I love my grandpa as he is a great man of God and was always there for me - even when it was completely out of his way. I tend not to be very vocal about my appreciation for people, so when he came to visit I made a point of telling him how much he meant to me. I actually teared up. This is the man who was like a father to me, despite me not having a father close to me. He took care of me, taught me how to grow up and be a man. He showed me how to cut down trees and work in the woods. He wrestled with me and gave me bear hugs. I love my grandpa so very much, and I don't ever think I could express it in mere words.

Ok, a finch just perched on my window sill and stared at me, then flew away. Hmmmmm.

Peace people, and tell the ones you love that you love them - they deserve it.

Homework

I have a lot of homework to do, and am not at all motivated. Got a lot on my mind, too.

This stinks.

Madagascar

Please pray for Madagascar, as it is going through political turmoil that is steadily turning into violence. Also, please pray for my father as he is currently at his house there and in fear for his life. Pray that God brings peace back to Mada and keeps people safe.

Long time no post

I am still alive, in case any of you were wondering. I have had, and still have, a lot to do.

Anyways, I went home for Easter and had an awesome time with my family. I ate a lot of food and slept a lot. Hung out with Allison a bit, we ended up going out for coffee and then caught the middle of The Ten Commandments at my house.

Oh, and I am still working on that ICS lab...

@#$^@%#$^@$%#^

DEAR LORD! I am doing an ICS lab in which I must optimize a program to make it run faster. So the story goes that I make a huge optimization that makes my program run 3 times faster than the original. My friend Sean does another optimization that makes it run 3.9 times faster. He helps me and I do his optimization...my program, looking EXACTLY like his now runs only 2.5 times faster........I hate my life. Every optimization I make runs SLOWER that it did before.

*vomits profusely*

Playing physics

Three words: "World of Goo".